For all you un-Harry people, please don’t read. You might lose your eyeballs from all that rolling.

Being an avid Harry Potter fan, I’m surprised at the patience with which I await the next book. The final book. (And I am one of those who believes J.K. Rowling will keep her word and close the series after book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). I think my patience stems from the fact that I want to give Rowling plenty of time to make the biggest, thickest, hugest tome on the thinnest of papers with size 6 font ever released. It should come with a standard medieval looking magnifying glass. I’m hoping it would stop my ability to swallow even the thickest of her books in one sitting. I want to spend a weekend at a cottage with book 7. I want to shake my head at the thought of packing the massive thing into my vinyl messenger bag. I want to fear twisting my wrists every time I set it down in my lap for a read.

Now for some tidbits of my theory. My son has even more wonderful theories than I – having read each of the books 3 or 4 times over. He knows all the typos. I just have pretty insignificant tidbits of a theory:

1. First, I don’t think (and I hope not) that it’s a Dragonheart kind of ending. Harry has to die in order for Voldemort to die so he sacrifices himself … or that because they share similarities – for one to die, the other must too. I don’t like that. It’s way too easy… and Ms. Rowling you’ve had plenty of time. (And I have faith in your creative prowess.)

2. Second, I know they’re circulating rumors that someone else very important is going to die like Ron or Hermione… if it helps the story, I’m okay with that. (For those of you with hanging mouths: They’re not real.)

3. Third, even though I said that last thing: to me, Dumbledore is real. He’s wise, funny, and he lives that proverb: the mark of a good character is not how you treat those superior to you, it’s how you treat those under you. So I still don’t believe he’s dead. That whole last scene with Snape and Malfoy was too laden with double meanings.

4. Crookshanks is very important. I can’t forget the way she attached on to Hermione in the beginning and the way she fixated on Ron’s rat (who turned out to be Wormtail).

5. Tom Riddle and Aunt Petunia. There’s a connection. (Wormtail and Dudley? – seems more likely).

That’s mostly it. It will come together somehow…and if it doesn’t, I wouldn’t mind. As long as Harry doesn’t have to do the Dragonheart thing. That would make me twist my wrists hurling the tome.