Omar Wellington Won’t Leave My Mind
Re: the 6 teens arrested today in the murder of Omar Wellington (July, 2006) – how can children grow up to become teenagers who surround another teen to spend 5 hours beating, stomping and stabbing him to death?
What happens along the way in the journey of childhood – from the beautiful, innocent faces I see in classrooms everyday, the ones running in after recess to solemnly show me the tiny block of ice that’s “‘xactly like a diamond”, those who tell me in shocked tones that somebody said the D word – dumb, the ones who gather around the window during a stormy, windy day in worry about the newly planted trees in the school yard, who find wonder in the clouds, ants, rocks, who all huddle with furrowed, open-mouthed concern around another child because of a paper cut, a loose tooth, a new scab, a hangnail – what happens to cause some of these beautiful children to turn impassively violent as young adults?
Islam teaches us that everyone is born with fitrah – the innate inclination to choose good over evil. And yet somehow our society allows some of its members to grow up to torture others to death.
We permit our children to sit stoically through scenes of violence on all kinds of screens, bodies either held still in viewing-stupor or moving in rhythmic sway to the game controllers while we read studies sponsored by this media conglomerate or that gaming company assuring us that viewing violence “in no way encourages children to commit violence”.
We find children who are bullying others and begin to build up a case to keep them bullying well into their teens by clearly marking them as they move through the grades, as though the word BULLY is branded on their foreheads; we do this instead of reaching in to see the thriving soul, the fitrah, to turn that fascination with flies away from pulling their wings off to being interested in their growth cycle. We diagnose them as bully and keep on the look out to confirm this diagnosis instead of catching them in the acts of goodness children are innately programmed to exhibit; instead of granting them a new diagnosis, a new reputation as the kid who stopped others from stepping onto broken glass in the schoolyard, instead of giving them a new way of defining themselves.
We allow some of us to torture others to death. And some of us, well, sadly, hundreds of us, lock our doors, close our curtains and not pick up a phone to call 911 while it happens outside our steps.
Omar Wellington won’t leave my mind.
What? Nobody bothered to even call the police.
You know, the western culture is too airy. It leaves so much space between two people that they can’t see each other! It’s a problem that needs fixing!
In the Muslim countries, unless the attackers are armed hooligans, such a thing will never happen. The neighbors themselves will intervene. They won’t even need the police!
Let’s not start the discourse by doing the western vs. muslim culture thing…teens hurting other teens, physically, sexaully, etc…is a UNIVERSAL problem…no wonder our muslim world is such a mess we’ve still got our heads stuck in the sand..’quack, quack, not happening here…go to the NON-MUSLIM side..’lol’…
anyways, the homes that these children are growing up our impacting how they are turning out…there is so much disrespect…violence..rampant in families…that there’s a ‘crossover’ as I like to call it…when they go from being all ‘childlike’ to ‘hardened’ teens because they see violent behaviour as normalized in their homes, suck it in like sponges and start acting out in their peer group.
Vidoe games, media, etc.. are not the ONLY things you can blame, blame the homes, include MUSLIM homes, they are teaching these children…when Daddy is contunually getting his way by beating up on Mommy and Mommy seems okay with it…why the suprise?
Stop the ‘blame society’…hold families accountable…PARENTS ACCOUNTABLE.
What a sad tale.
ambivalent is right – it starts at home, with guidance (or lack thereof) of loving, caring parents.
As for no one helping Omar Wellington — clearly fear is ruling that neighborhood. And perhaps, after a time, one becomes immune to the sound of someone being beaten to death.
Manas, I agree with commenter Ambivalent that you can’t solely blame western culture – when I write “our society”, I’m meaning global society as in the globalized world. Unfortunately, Muslims /the Muslim world are not immune from demonstrating de-sensitivity to violence. Not in the least. I feel the same sense of despondence I described in my post when I watch the dead bodies of American soldiers being tortured and dragged through the streets in Muslim countries. Though some may point out the political frameworks of such things, I still see these as acts of “impassive violence”. My question is how do people get to such a point?
Ambivalent, thanks for pointing out there’s ownership to be had in the home as well. Parents are accountable as well, agreed, but not all kids are in the kind of homes where parents can help mitigate the perils “out there” or the kind of homes where daddy and mommy/families provide suitable models of behavior; so does that mean every such child should be left to fend for himself, removed from his home (as Omar Wellington was) or be commented away as a victim (turned-criminal) of their home situations? This is where I like to nod to the African proverb: it takes a village to raise a child – and every person who has access to the life of a child in danger of falling into violent behavior has an obligation to be a responsible villager.
Plus, Ambivalent, coming back to the western vs. muslim society thing, to reiterate, I’m with you there: I really, really, really LOATHE it when things are blamed on THIS Western society. As far as I’m concerned this is my society – I don’t speak from outside it, I speak from INSIDE it as a Western Muslim.
Gosh, I should have just made this into another post! Sorry for the too long comment.
Manas –
Err…is that, like, too much of a generalisation, you think?
I just have 2 words for you on this – ‘Muslim neighbours will step in and sort it out’ – HONOUR KILLINGS.
‘Nuff said
Oh, no I did not intend to start western vs Muslim culture, even though I may have ended up doing just that.
Nadeem, everything has good and bad sides. Right now, yeah, Muslims have the wrong side of the scale heavy. Instead of feeling happy about it, try to feel sad about that.
Everyone is responsible for this. Parents who’s children lose that ‘fitrah” are obviously showing their kids something else entirely, or are sadly not showing them any guidance at all and are negligent or absent. Not all parents whose children turn out like this of course, for fear of making over generalizations, but I think if your home is safe and respectful and loving, even if you see these things on tv you know they’re wrong. Yes, of course you’re partially desensitized (we all are, unfortunately) but you also wouldn’t go that far… It’s scary. It’s the whole nurture vs. nature. We’re all born with an inherent goodness, but our world is so messed up that it takes a lot to keep the goodness from becoming something completely different.
Thank you so much for sharing those links, commonplacer. I hadn’t heard about this, and have spent the last hour poring over all the related posts and comments over at the TO Crimes webog and the Globe&Mail site. It’s all so horrific. Omar was beaten, stomped on, and stabbed for FIVE HOURS, and yet “mothers and fathers shut their curtains and shushed their children”? myGod.
Reading your entry, CP, I was reminded of something I read months ago. Eboo Patel of the Interfaith Youth Core in Chicago was interviewed on a radio program, and the host asked him about violence in youth. Her question specifically focused on religious-related extremism and violence in the young, but I’ve never forgotten Eboo’s answer, and how relevant it is to our communities and our young people everywhere. He said:
(Go here and scroll down for the link to the Transcript of the interview, if you like.)
Thank you again for bringing this to my attention.
Yeah we should feel sad about the state of Muslims, but greater then this I feel sad for humanity in general. Really, not to sound hokey about it but the world is entrenched with so many social injustices. I stand by all humanity, including Muslims, against all atrocities.
“And some of us, well, sadly, hundreds of us, lock our doors, close our curtains and not pick up a phone to call 911 while it happens outside our steps.”
I’ve seen a lot of this lately, May Allah protect us all and may He have mercy on us! Ameen
Thanks Yasmine for that link – wow, what a great project. It’s amazing what happens when people apply their immense talents at a grassroots level – it gives hope and encourages others to take similar action. The snow-ball effect of such ideas can never be underestimated; as a teacher, I’ve seen the benefits of even simple neighborhood programs which connect with children/teens on any level – be it social or spiritual. Thanks again.
Thats real ****** Omi was my dog and these ******** killed him and all they got was jail time i hope you die a thousand deaths (REST IN PEACE) OMAR Remember we just some ghetto grouphome kids UR CLOSEST HOMEBOY B-LOCO.
is that what happened????????
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.